This is a story.

Okay, well, it was a short relationship, but I’m close to breaking ties.  Not that I’ll never blog again, but I’ve got to be realistic.  I don’t have internet at home and no one likes multiple-volume blogs.  I have all kinds of wit, but it tends to come out in day to day conversations, and not so much in said volumes.  I still don’t even get how to upload photos, and if I did, I would still only be on the computer at church where there are none of my photos.  I will go ahead and stick with facebook and its convenient, albeit finicky, iphone application.

For those of you who do not know me on Fb, which mostly just includes Lovewillbringustogether, I’ll give a quick update:

I’m having a GIRL!  Her name will be… a secret until she’s born.  I got over the morning sickness around 18 weeks and since then, I’ve been feeling really good.  It’s so much fun to be visibly pregnant and to feel the baby moving.  I’m healthy, and everything is going well so far.  Kevin is loving the whole experience, as well.  He’s a super great daddy because he’s a super great husband.

God continues to provide for our needs while we watch every single penny.  I’m still trying for more piano students.

This feels like one of those annoying Christmas letters…  Okay, enough.  Goodbye, wordpress.  You were good to me for a while.

jess

I don’t have internet, so I have to get my fix in Kevin’s church office!

Pregnancy is going fine!  Morning sickness is starting to taper off.  This is wonderful!  I look pregnant, and I feel overjoyed!  I can’t believe I’m almost half-way through.  That’s incredible.  We find out on September 8 if we’re having a boy or girl.  Cool things about my baby – right now, he or she is about the size of an apple, and can grimace, suck his or her thumb, grasp, and kick (though I can’t feel it quite yet).  Also, his or her eyes are sensitive to light, and I read that if I shine a flashlight into my tummy, the baby may move away.  That doesn’t seem very nice, though.  

I do not have a job for the fall.  I had an interview set up with a lady who wanted me to watch her 5 month old son for the fall.  I figured that would be perfect!  The day of the interview, she still hadn’t called me with directions, so I left a couple of messages.  Two hours before the interview, she called and said, “Oh, sorry, I’ve been so busy, I should have called you…  I hired someone else.”  Oh, thanks.  I already did my hair and make up and had a nice outfit on, plus I had my whole resume ready.  I was quite sure I was the nanny for her.  Well, shoot.  Of course, if she didn’t even call me to tell me she hired someone else, maybe she isn’t the kind of person I wanted to work for anyway.  

But this is kind of a confirmation that I need to work on my piano studio.  I plan on delivering some business cards to all of the schools in the area when school starts.  That way, when someone asks the school teacher who they recommend, they’ll have my info.  Also going to be doing some ads around the church.  Hopefully, more students will come.  I’ve been invited to the Dallas Southwest Music Teachers Association.  This is kind of intimidating, as piano teachers in associations tend to be pretty serious!  (You musicians know the type…)  But it’ll be good.  

We’ve been doing some crazy yard work.  We got rid of tons of bushes and are starting to clear things out.  Our yard is soooo overgrown, because the elderly lady who lived there before just liked to plant things (maybe an addiction?) and never maintain things.  Then the house sat vacant for like, 2 years.  So it was really a junky yard.  We have about 30 trees, and Kevin cut down some of the small ones.  So the yard doesn’t look good, but at least you can see the house and we won’t have as many bugs!  

I can’t wait to tell you all about our mission trip to Brazil.  It was amazing.  When I get my pictures in, I will have to schedule some time to come up to Kevin’s office and post about it.  Before we went, I was really starting to think that I was crazy for trying to go across the world while feeling so sick, and wondered why I didn’t cancel.  Boy, am I glad I did not!  The Lord put my sickness on hold for a week, and I did not throw up until the day we were traveling back.  This is an exact answer to my prayer that I would not be sick while we were ministering.  

I am constantly remembering the verse we put on our wedding invitations, Psalm 126:3, “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!” 

Jess

Okay, so I know it’s been so long since I’ve posted.  I’ve been watching kids during the days, then we had VBS, and then last week we went to DC with our youth choir.  So, it’s been exhausting!  

The most present issue is that morning sickness has settled in and I wonder if it’s here to stay.  It is not just in the morning.  It is all stinkin’ day.  I got a prescription and it doesn’t really help.  I also got preggie pops.  Don’t think those help much.  So…  I’m praying that this will be for the first semester only.  I only have about 4 more weeks left. 

Washington D.C. was incredible!  We had a great time with our youth choir.  We worked at Gospel Rescue Mission, which is a place for recovering addicts to live and get back on their feet . We did everything from painting to helping with job searches to making food to yard work.  The part that was most fun was getting to participate in their worship services.  It’s awesome to see how God has changed these men’s hearts, when months ago they were using every spare dime to get high and living on the streets.  They have awesome testimonies.  

We could definitely see God’s hand on us as we traveled.  Last Monday, when we arrived in DC, we caught the subway and then checked in to the hotel.  We found out there that the red line subway we’d just ridden had collided in what would be called the worst subway collision in DC history.  There were 9 fatalities and over 50 injuries, I think.  Wow.  That was sobering.  Thank you Lord, that we were not on it when it crashed.  

Then on Wednesday, the group planned on going to the capital.  This was the one morning that I absolutely didn’t have to go, and I was feeling sick, so I decided to meet up with them later.  It was also our third anniversary, so Kevin was going to come get me at the hotel and we’d have lunch.  So the group of 25 gets to the capital, and everyone’s carrying their backpacks.  They decided to leave them outside, because security was so tight.  Our youth minister and one other youth stayed outside with the pile of backpacks.  The rest went inside for the tour, and every kid put their cell phone in Kevin’s backpack, so Kevin took his in and checked it in security.  Meanwhile, outside, there were these dumb people who decided to just leave their bags with our pile, and that’s not okay!  Our youth minister can’t account for those, so security freaks out and the bomb squad comes.  They escort youth minister and the one kid to the other side of the street, and the capital goes on lockdown.  Meanwhile, inside, the group gets stopped and Kevin gets pulled aside, because his bag has “suspicious content.”  By the time all the air cleared, they missed their tour and it was lunch time.  So they never got to finish seeing it.  Crazy!

We went to the Holocost Museum.  That was very sobering.  I would recommend that anyone go there if you’re headed to DC.

The subway, on the other hand…. I don’t know how those people do it all the time.  It is the most stressful thing!  Those doors close, no matter what.  I recommend traveling with your strong husband.  He definitely had to use his might to pry those darn things open!  If not, I’d be stuck to this day.  It’s scary.  And one time I nearly got left on the subway when I needed to get off.  It was rush hour and people got all mob-like and started pushing and yelling.  Plus, you have to get all comfy with these people you don’t know, and it never failed that when I felt my worst, the sweatiest, stinkiest man would be the one whose armpit was in my face.  I prayed for the Lord’s love!  

The first day we were there, we went to the mall and saw the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial.  As a choir, we sang in front of these places, which was totally cool.  I was surprised to see how well we were received.  I thought people would throw tomatoes or something.  Oh, and as my group of about 5-6 girls was walking, I heard this really familiar voice, and I turned to the right to see Owen Wilson, not 5 feet away, on his bike!  All the girls in my group just stood and pointed, mouths open.  Owen must have noticed that he’d been recognized, so he started to pedal away.  If we’d been thinking, we would have asked him to stop and take a picture with us.  But all we could do was gape.  And yes, it was definitely him, because there’s no mistaking that nose.  And Marley was with him.  Okay, not really!  Marley died!

We had our first sonogram the week before last.  It was so beautiful to see our baby’s heartbeat!  We have one beautiful, healthy baby.  I cannot wait to find out if our baby is a boy or a girl.  We’re just thrilled!  Sooooo, that’s life!

After a week of wondering, Kevin decided we’d take a test.  I was terrified, because we’ve been trying for quite a while, and I was not looking forward to another giant let down.  We prayed together, but Kevin prayed more of a “surrender” type of prayer.  Having prayed to surrender my will to the Lord’s for years, I was ready for a more active prayer, so when he was finished praying, I said, “here, let me do it,” haha!  And I begged the Lord for a child.  

Took the test, and was completely shocked!  I started screaming and jumping up and down, and sweet Kevin was like, “no, don’t jump!” We went to the piano and sang praise songs and just thanked the Lord like crazy.  Then we drove to see my sister and surprise her with the news.  I had no time to really prepare, so I just put the test in a ziplock bag and gift wrapped it!  We got to Shelby’s apartment, and casually walked in and told her I’d picked her up something small on the way.  She opens it, and says, “You got me a thermometer?” ……  Wow.  Not the reaction we were expecting!  Of course, a few seconds later she realized what it was, and the rejoicing began!  Then we told our parents.  We went on to the makemebabies.com website and combined our pictures, which made for some kind of bizarre looking kiddos.  We printed these pictures out and put them in a frame with the text, “Happy Father’s Day, grandpa!  Love, granddaughter?/grandson?”  It was so much fun to watch my dad figure out who those kids were.  

Now the secret’s out!  We’re so blessed, and grateful to the Lord for this miracle!  And… morning sickness sucks.  But it’s the best kind of “sick” I’ve ever been, so I’m not going to complain!

So, money has been really tight.  We’ve been having to watch every penny.  On the other hand, a new pair of sneakers was long over-due for me.  Mine were going on 2 years of almost daily wear.  I have crazy weird feet, and I get bruises after standing or walking for too long if my shoes aren’t great.  I’ve always found it so difficult to find shoes that fit me, because like most normal people, I figured they were mostly the same, you just gotta find the one with the right fit.  Wrong.  Back in February, I found someone who could look at my foot and tell me I needed shoes for underpronation- or ankles that roll in.  I also have a high arch.  She told me about these shoes that were made for underpronation, I located them, tried ‘em on….and wow.  I guess I’ve just never found a shoe to fit me, because these felt great.  Unfortunately, they were $40 over my alloted budget.  
So I’ve been saving up since then, but there’s not a lot of extra to save.  We have a trip next week with the senior adults and we’ll be doing enough walking that I really had to get some shoes.  After checking with every shoe store in the area to see if they were any cheaper, I gave up and decided I’d get whatever shoes I could find on Thursday.  I also had to get some khakis, because we’re supposed to wear khakis on the trip.  Ah!  Wednesday night, before church, I checked the mail, and lo and behold! there was an ad for the very shoes I’ve been saving for since February – $30 off!  I just started laughing, out loud, at God’s goodness.  Then I called Sports Authority and asked if they had my size, and please hold it, I’m coming!  I couldn’t help but giggle the whole time I was talking to Mr. Shoe Man.  So I drove strait there, and Mr. Shoe Man had, indeed, put the size 9′s on the side for me.  (He also told me he thought I was cute, then apologized.  It was terribly awkward…)

Because of what God did, I was able to buy the shoes I needed and get khakis (on sale at Kholes for $19) for less than the original price for shoes.  So I was thrilled.  The funniest part – I’d been singing this song all day, “Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh Lord, my God, You are great!”  So I was standing there fixing my hair for church while singing… and it hit me.  Who wakes up singing “Bless the Lord, oh my soul,” and gets new shoes!??!!?  I do, that’s who!  

“Bless the Lord, oh my sole!”

jess

ps – I saw Sean Connery at the post office.  Maybe he’s not from Coppell after all!

My husband is sick.  He doesn’t get sick much, but when he does, Lord, help me.  That’s right.  Lord, help ME.  He’s not the easiest to deal with.  Why are guys so whiney when they don’t feel good?  Nonetheless.

This won’t be a pity and witty post.  Since I have fewer friends who read this, I can be more vulnerable, I think.  This past month or two has been hell.  Kevin’s had the biggest exams of his life, so I held my breath and went the extra mile to help him.  Now he has a gazillion papers, and recital credit to try to cram into our busy schedule.  People at church have not only been difficult, but caused more work and time for him.  It hasn’t been uncommon for him to be at church until 7-8, maybe later.  Financially, we are extremely strained.  That is kind of a blessing, though, in the middle of all this, because we’ve seen how God has provided.  Sometimes it’s been in those Gideon-style ways, where you know there was no other explanation, and those times have humbled me with gratitude.  Which brings me to the next thing God has taught me about myself.  I was pondering His blessings during a TCU Percussion ensemble, of all things…

I was raised to work hard.  Dad doesn’t have a degree, and he worked on airplanes for most of my life.  His scarred hands and oil-smelling work shirts always made me feel proud of him, because he worked his tail off to provide.  I was taught that you should never expect handouts, but do what you can to help others.  I had my first checking account when I was 11, because my mom wanted to teach me the importance of knowing how to save money, and balance a checkbook, and keep track of what I spend.  We never had a lot of money; in fact, there were some really tough times growing up.  When my mom would buy me things, she’d often say something along the lines of, “That’s all you’re getting for a while, so you better be thankful,” or “I hope you realize what you’ve got.”  We wrote thank-you notes to my great-grandmother every time she stuck a dollar in her letters (a dollar, really?).  For everything we received, we were told how grateful we should be, and no one ever gave us anything without receiving a thank you note.  I really think that was a good quality to instill in us.  People still comment on how nice my thank you notes are.  

I think there might have been a downside to this, though.  Gratefulness isn’t really a quality you can force.  You can teach the lessons by situations in which you should be grateful, but you cannot force someone to be grateful.  I think that in the process of my mom emphasizing how much someone went out of their way for me, I cooked up a good portion of guilt to go with my gratitude.  Fast forward to now…  While I have odd jobs, I don’t have a consistent income (white girl in south Dallas can’t find a job), and I’ve having a hard time recruiting piano students.  Kevin has the burden of providing for us and paying our bills – most stressful of which are my own medical bills.  We’ve trusted in the Lord, and it’s been so cool to see how He’s provided.  But when He does bless us beyond what we deserve, there’s this guilt that creeps in with my thankfulness.  There’s a sense of shame for being in a place where God does have to provide for us.  Man, what a lie!  What a lie straight from the serpent’s mouth!  Not only does He want to bless us, He wants to receive the glory for His blessings.  Why in the world do I think that I’m putting God out, as if He is inconvenienced by having to help us?  As if His resources were finite and He wasted a few on me?  Or do I think that I’m above being helped, like there must be some mistake that we’re not making enough money?  I have been so convicted.  I’ve been so humbled.  And I’m so glad that God is teaching me this lesson at this point in my life!  What a beautiful thing He’s doing in my heart.  ”The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”  - Ps. 126:3

I was in Wal-Mart about a month ago.  A man caught my eye.  He was an older white man, with a white beard, white hair, and dark eyebrows.  (The fact that he was white made him stick out a little, because in this town and especially this walmart, whites are a minority.  That wasn’t racist, just fact.)  He was lifting cases of canned food and putting them in his cart.  This guy had a lot of cans.  I didn’t see his face very clearly, but he kind of reminded me of Sean Connery.

When I got to the check out line, he was in front of me.  I saw his face, and WOW, this guy really looked like Sean Connery.  Wait…  Was this Sean Connery?!  In my walmart?!  In my checkout lane?!  I kept looking around, trying to figure out if other people were freaking out, too.  But no one seemed to be looking past their own carts and the check out lady looked too depressed to be begging for autographs.  Mr. Connery must have noticed that I was staring (I really couldn’t help it…), and he decided to explain all of his canned food, “I’m going on a camping trip!”  I flipped out – he had a funny Scottish accent!  Holy cow, surely it couldn’t be?  Time to figure things out.  As he handed his license to the cashier, I leaned forward to see it.  Texas.  I’m doubting a rich actor would take up residence in this area of Texas.  But what if he was just passing through?  What if he’s one of those actors who wants normalcy?  He accidentally tried to take my cart instead of his with all the cans.  He apologized, and since I was still staring, he motioned to all of his canned food, “This isn’t all for me!”  I snapped out of it and said, “Uh huh…Sure it’s not!”  Then told him to have fun camping.  And he was gone.  Like that.

No one else noticed or cared, but I’m telling you – this guy was spitting image.  So now I think I must’ve come across some crazy impersonator.  I called Kevin as soon as I left the store!

What’s your craziest Walmart experience?

In every wonderful epic story, there is always someone who has the power, or potion, or formula to heal the hero.  The hero returns from battle exhausted and bleeding, covered in sweat and dirt, but don’t worry.  One drop from the ethereal pretty girl’s glowing glass bottle, and he’s good as new.  Or one trance-like soprano vocalise from a girl who glows, herself, and his resolve and purpose is renewed, not to mention his wounds go away.

If there’s anyone I want to be, it’s the girl in those stories.  Ministry can feel like a battle sometimes.  (This is not to say that it’s not also an incredible blessing, but for today’s perspective…)  My husband fights the “front lines,” so to speak.  The only difference is that you can’t see the blows that have been dealt.  There’s no blood oozing through his tweed suit that someone bought him and made him wear.  There’s no cheering him on from his comrades and no parade when he accomplishes a goal.  For the most part, I’m the only one who can see what’s going on in his heart.

I’m exaggerating, maybe the illustration is too dramatic.  But there are definitely side effects to being a full-time minister, not to mention a student as well.  These last couple of weeks have been some of our most stressful ever.  We’ve never been as tight financially as we are now.  Kevin has that burden.  He’s been preparing for the biggest test of his life.  He’s been dealing with some unpleasant things (dare I say… unpleasant people?) at church.  He’s been working on a children’s musical and so many other things and staying late at church.  Goodness, there are so many things going on that are good, but require so much responsibility.  And he has a very hard time sleeping.

More than anything, I wish I could instantaneously glow away his stress.  I wish that I had some sort of beautiful, delicate glass bottle that was filled with never-ending sparkly goo, and at my discretion, the receiver of the goo would be soothed and rest like never before.  Gosh, I wish that were me!  What an awesome girl to have, you know?   Why can’t I just be a blueish angel wife?  

Oh.  It’s because I’m not his healer.  I don’t take his burdens, though I may share them.  He has a Healer.  He has a source of peace and rest.  The most I can do as a wife is to pass on the “potion,” or the words of Scripture, and encourage my husband in his trek/sometimes battle.  I get to help point him to his Healer.  I get to petition the Healer on his behalf.  That’s the stuff stories are made of.

I need help.  My site is boring.  I guess I have to figure out how to make it interesting.  There are so many new places to click, it’s kind of confusing!  I sound so old, too.  Plus, I won’t be on the computer much this week because Kevin has comps.  Um okay, so how do I become friends with you guys?

Okay, girls .  You win!  I’m here.